Milestone

Dear reader,

As you know, I am pretty hard on myself all the time. I am not very nice to myself. But, you are. You never hold it against me. You are never pressuring me to write more poetry again. You never tell me to stop whining. And I thank you for that. This blog is my safe haven. And yet, I censor my posts all the time. Not too sure why though. It is what it is. I feel safe to ramble here and to let my mind wander. This is where reality and fiction merge; which means that a lot of what you can read here is fiction. A lot is reality. Which is which will never be known. Or maybe it is easy to identify, once you get to know me.

A milestone is in reach for me. Two hundred ninety-nine (299!) amazing people are following this blog — peanuts for some, mind-blowing for me. I am just a no one in this world really, and yet you all mean the world to me.

I am not obsessed with stats (anymore), but I see you see me. And I thank you. I appreciate it a lot.

I intend to keep going with the flow and write whatever wants to be written.

Again, thank you

You matter. Remember that. You matter.

Cathy

Thank You!!

With exclamation marks… I am not sure what happened, but when the notifications say “your stats are booming” something must be happening. 80 views in one day… I am used to 3 views or maybe 10 on a good day.

Is this Paul‘s doing? If so

Thank You!!

I also saw someone coming from Nate‘s blog.

Thank You!!

I have no idea who you are… But I am grateful for this.

Big hugs,

And did I say:

Thank You!!

(And the numbers are still climbing…)

Thank you

The year draws to a close, and we tend to look back on what was and try to imagine what will be.

I wanted to share the above picture with you. Those are my stats on this blog since its creation. As you can see 2013 and 2014 had many views and not many visitors. During those years Jamie and I shared a lot of music, and I often sent links to my blog here. So… He is to blame for the views. He passed away in 2015. Up until the end of 2016, I did not tag my posts. And when I did, everything went up. I also wrote a lot more. As you can see 2018 is by far the best year when it comes to my writing. Ironically, I have not sold a book through the button on this site. I am not even sure if it works. But that’s okay.

I owe you a big THANK YOU.

People from 62 different countries have visited me – Catherine Micqu. You know who you are. And I know some of you too.

By the way… The top three posts were demons, heatwave, and madness is sadness.

I want to give special thanks to a handful of fellow bloggers. Nate, because you reached out when I needed it most. Your message came at the right time. Paul, because you always make me smile and I like your thoughts. Jeff, your love and dedication to music are amazing, your thoughts are deep, I appreciate that a lot. River Dixon because you are always the first to vote on whatever I share, and last but not least, Robert, because without you I wouldn’t write at all. Thank you.

No women? you ask. Well, apparently not. I just noticed this too. I went to look at my reader, and I saw that I don’t follow any blogs written by women and that are still active.

Either way, thank you all for your support and encouragement, silent or outspoken. See you on the other side. ❤

Cathy

crippling self-doubt

Yesterday I posted a chapter (admittedly everything there is) of a thing I called Upside Down. I wrote those words late, and I was quite tired by then. I am sure there are a couple of mistakes and errors in there… But as a faithful reader, you are aware that every post has at least one typo. Be it as it may… I am not sure how to proceed and if anyone who follows this blog wants to read things like that. My overthinking and self-doubting self is a bother again. I am not expecting an answer because in the end I will do whatever seems right to me and comes naturally. If you say yes, I pressure myself too much. If you say no, I doubt myself and my capacities as a writer. You can’t win. I cannot either.

I am a tired woman wearing bright green pants (with huge white flowers – hideous pants) who is seriously considering giving Milly Baker and Josh Weller a backstory and making their characters come alive. The last names were a spur of the moment thing.

Thanks for letting me vomit my self-doubt on your screen. I could go on and on about it… But who wants to read that?! And I don’t want to write it.

Thank you for your time.

Cathy

20180726

Did you know? I published two paperback poetry collections this month.

Ever since, I feel as if I am getting my balance back. I did something that means a lot to me. I fulfilled my own dream instead of waiting for someone else to do it. And it feels amazing.

Although… I am a bad business woman. I don’t make money and I don’t advertise nearly enough. Instead, I ordered a bunch of copies of Unquiet Minds, and I am giving them away (for free). See? Bad business woman. I invite you to visit Amazon and buy your copy, or get in touch and we can figure something out. It is great poetry from the heart, and it looks great too. Promised.

So yes, I am way better than I was last month. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it more than you know.

Cathy

This year…

It’s actually quite amazing. It’s mid 2018 and the blog has seen more views and visitors and likes than ever before.

You did this. And I thank you for that. From the bottom of my heart.

I am aware that I am a complex woman who is often writing about her hardships. It is easier to write about those than it is to write about the good.

Right now, after a couple of weeks that were really bad, things are starting to look up. Slowly. Steady. Without trying to overdo it, but since I am working even more hours now, it is not as easy as it seems.

Either way… Thank you, to the readers from all around the world, for your support. It means the world to me.

Top ten this year so far:

Even if it doesn’t seem like a lot to some, it is a lot to me.

💜💙♥️💚💛

Cathy

Random_20180602

I write because I can and because I have to. It is my therapy. Often, I write impulsively, so that you only see a momentary glimpse into my internal landscapes. I am happy with the people who are currently in my life. I am worth way more than I allow myself to be and I am grateful that they see it too. They love every inch of me. They accept every part of baggage on my back and in my soul. And I love them just the way they are. Flaws and all. That is how it should be. That is what gives me the strength to let go of old weight on my shoulders. I am happy that I am still here… As I mentioned before, I don’t take rejection very well. And I take it even worse when it comes from someone I adore. It almost ended badly. But, I am still here. Strong. Confident. With my ups and downs. The best version of me yet.

Written impulsively too.

xx

Thank you

Too much content in these last 24 hours. I am a little sorry for all the notifications you are receiving. Either way… Thank you all. I wouldn’t be doing it without you.

Cathy