Catherine Micqu

crippling self-doubt

Yesterday I posted a chapter (admittedly everything there is) of a thing I called Upside Down. I wrote those words late, and I was quite tired by then. I am sure there are a couple of mistakes and errors in there… But as a faithful reader, you are aware that every post has at least one typo. Be it as it may… I am not sure how to proceed and if anyone who follows this blog wants to read things like that. My overthinking and self-doubting self is a bother again. I am not expecting an answer because in the end I will do whatever seems right to me and comes naturally. If you say yes, I pressure myself too much. If you say no, I doubt myself and my capacities as a writer. You can’t win. I cannot either.

I am a tired woman wearing bright green pants (with huge white flowers – hideous pants) who is seriously considering giving Milly Baker and Josh Weller a backstory and making their characters come alive. The last names were a spur of the moment thing.

Thanks for letting me vomit my self-doubt on your screen. I could go on and on about it… But who wants to read that?! And I don’t want to write it.

Thank you for your time.

Cathy

A bit of an early morning rant

Let me ramble about work ethics for a moment. I have a trainee at work. She started mid-April. Today included, she already miss six days at work. I told her yesterday that she should be careful and not miss too much work, it doesn’t look good on her. It doesn’t put her in a good light. Her work is shallow and on the outside, it looks good. She doesn’t get involved with the children though. And she is not reliable. I am a bit angry right now. She is supposed to be a help – instead she is a burden. She has a second chance with us – she dropped out of school, and she is not using it. It sucks. And I told her so many times, but maybe she is too young to understand. I am willing to help her and to teach her the ropes. But she has to be there too. If she’s not present, and if she keeps being unreliable, I can’t do anything for her… This sucks.

And now, shower and off to work. (Without her…)