stronger than yesterday

Shadows are hunting my dreams

Thieves! They want to steal my light; or so it seems.

I run faster. I stumble and curse and stutter

It all makes my thoughts pucker.

Wrinkled mind and uneven ideas;

My demons insist on instilling fears.

But deep inside grows a seed,

It was planted in my brain before I was freed.

Cracks in my walls let light in;

Its heat tickles my skin.

Bold and fearless I stretch my senses,

Breaking down the last remaining fences.

The shadows hide in the light of day,

But they will be back, and I am ready to fight; come whatever may.

gone ’til November

Mistakes, I made a few. But none of them was you.

In the middle of the night, I lost the fight.

I ran away from myself, hid my memories between books on the shelf.

If I didn’t miss you this much, if I could re-feel your last touch;

but what’s done is done. You’re gone.

I am too, I don’t know what to do.

Words became shadows, minds decompose.

I wish you were here, but I am relieved you are not near.

burning ink

And while words are written and songs are sung, we are trying to find out what’s going to become of us.

Burning ink

Whispers on a page

And we are asleep and dreaming. Living in a fantasy that will never be.

Raging storms

Blown away thoughts

And the world around us keeps spinning; night turns into day again and again.

Spilled tears

Growing seeds

Neverending heaviness settles around our hearts. No more air, just dust. Only just what is left of us.

Throwback poetry

Hands be still!
Thoughts go to sleep.
You make me breathe
You suffocate me too.

Voices be silent!
Stop the tremblings.
You fixed me.
It’s all because of you.

Don’t torture me.
Cold-turkey.
I am dying here.
Fulfill my cravings!

I lose my dignity.
Dirty trash.
Who will want me after this?
Branded by you.

Just a little more.
I beg and pray.
I will stop after this.
But it is a lie.

I need it.
I need you.
Give me what I want!
Don’t let me suffer.

The clock is ticking.
I am wilting away.
My body is shutting down.
Sick.

One last time.
For me.
Be there for me.
You were my saviour, always.

I become a prostitute for you.
Just ease the pain.
Fill the void
And make me float.

You are unyielding.
I hate you!
Please, no. I love you.
Don’t leave!

Cradle me!
A few more moments.
I need you.
But I am not an addict.

These are my parting words
As I leave this toxic world.
You didn’t give me what I needed
And now I vanish.

I disappear
Leaving no trace.
Your love
Is my death.

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠

(December 2015, for the life of me, I cannot remember why this one was not included in Unquiet Minds)

From the inside out.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see remnants of you. You are where you are supposed to be. No trespassing. Hidden in that tiny space, I gave up for you.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see myself. I am who you helped me be. No guilt and no regrets. Free because of the room I made for you.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

We kept our promises. We are still waiting for the right moment to come. For the need to consume us.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see us. The want. The passion. The souls that are entwined. Two hearts melted into one. Torn apart.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I will stay here, for whenever your mind craves my soul, you will find me here. A changed girl.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I am peace. I am gratitude. I am a memory engraved into your skull. Flowing through your veins. I am your life’s breath.

Keep the love on

When the light’s out
When the flame’s gone
I get this feeling
That we are not done.

When the moon rose
And the sun set
I get this feeling
That this is not the end yet.

When I’m dreaming
When I’m not sleeping
I get this feeling
That we can’t stop needing
(each other)

When the night’s over
And the stars are hiding
I get this feeling
That we should keep fighting

When nothing is said
When nothing is done
I get this feeling
That your arms are home.

Fate

The hollow is threatening to eat me from the inside out. Everything I was with you is fading away. And it leaves a void. I am missing you. But I forgot who you were for me. I am fading without you. And you keep living your life. People smile at your jokes, or you infuriated them with your eclecticism. I wake up after every lonely night, and our memories keep fading. I can’t remember your smell, and nothing reminds me of your actual presence in my life. But you were there. You were a part of me. You carved yourself out of me, and my empty vessel keeps floating in the wind. Higher and higher. Lighter and lighter. Fading and fading. Until nothing is left of me. Until nothing is left of the person, you once knew.

Could I just….? Could I leave everything behind and start anew?

15

I still have 15 copies of Unquiet Minds at home. I can sign them and send them wherever you are.

And here is a little secret. There are 3 typos in that version of the book. The typos were corrected. If you order you copy with me, you will receive a rarity. Doesn’t that sound like a great deal?

It’s also available on Amazon as paperback and ebook.

Go grab your copy!

🙂