Catherine Micqu

what if everything has a reason? (new poem)

I swallowed the sun
to find some light in me
but I was blind
my eyes were closed.

and I was the only one
the last woman to hide and not be free
prisoner of my mind
decomposed.

I was waiting for the end
lost the key to my heart
I turned into stone
me versus myself – a war.

but then there was you – new friend
you kept together what fell apart
with you, I moaned and shone
I had never felt like this before.

And the sun shone through my cracks
and you held me when I fell
and you put kisses on my bruises
and rekindled my fire.

nothing was perfect, but you made me relax
but I was also scared to feel love – it was hell
was I ready to fight, or tying another silent noose?
in my head resided a liar.

I drank up your affection
and then you admitted that there was no other
and you put your lips to my wrist
I was floating on your flying floors

I was starving for your connection
hungry for whatever you had to offer
when we made love the world ceased to exist
you me. you in me. me in you. my soul seeped into yours.

dancing to the silent songs in my head

I’m pacing one step two steps
I’m dancing around
Arms above my head
I’m losing my frown.

And once I am lost
I’m losing
A heart wreathed in frost
But I continue to sing.

A scar so fresh
But my eyes are closed
Weakest flesh
Soul and mind decomposed.

This journey is not over
Piece by piece we will understand
Forever unsober
Drowning in castles built of sand.

Blown in every direction
Happy, sad, joys and death
Another emotion for my collection
Gasp – I take another deep breath.

To some, I appear mad
I wake up panting
Arms raised above my head,
Two bodies dancing.

Not giving up today

Living in a house without windows nor doors

Darkness as my roof, I can’t see my thoughts.

I am too small to see the sun; how will I grow?

Lenard’s crack invites some light, truth in poetry.

And I mind my mind in my mind, only seekers can find

But I am living after closing my eyes too many times.

There is music flowing through my feels, a river of nothing

An explosion of everything pushes me to you.

A hand in my hair, a love that saves me from my madness

And I guess if I move my soul into your heart, I am able to break free.

In the orange hours of the day

Cream-colored lovemaking in the morning’s orange hours
Sweat mingles drop by drop as they crawl under each other’s skin
Holding their breaths, falling deeper into the eyes of the other

Sheets of linen hide their forgotten loneliness from the cloud’s rainy showers
Undulating starving bodies that are craving the connection through original sin
The bond they share is stronger than that of ordinary lovers

They had waited a while, but finally, she becomes his to devour
She tries to escape the awe in his eyes; with a finger, he lifts her chin
He needs to see himself in her; he gasps the moment his heart becomes part of hers

They devote themselves to the lust that consumes every inch within
And while the world turns and their lives go on, the make cream-coloured love in the orange hours of the morning.

deactivated mind

Thoughts carved in stone weighing me down
Trees of souls burning in flames
Running out of ways to be myself
I lost the woman in the mirror
There should be passion and hope and lust
But I can only see void emptiness bathed in dust
Make me go away. Deactivated mind.

#tbt the person behind the screen

I am a creative exhibitionist
And I am a romantic in denial
I am a brave coward
And I am perfectly imperfect
I am hopelessly hopeful, too.

I am a taster of music
And I am a dancer in the dark
I am a silent talker
And I am a wordless writer
I am a starving mind, too.

I am easily bruised
And I am a truthful faker
I am a destroying maker
And I am a random thinker.

But above all, I am me. Cathy.

Kneeling

I am kneeling

Trying to see the sky

But the shadows conceal its beauty

Staggering through the laughing crowd

The blood is pounding in my ears

A song plays behind my eyes

I need to move, or else I will combust

My twin is laughing; my soul is weeping

And I see your thoughts

And I feel your words

I am hiding

Maybe I will find what I need while

I am on my knees.

A world away

I am sitting on my bed fearing the world spinning around me

It stops – abruptly

I look to my left and see you next to me

I breathe – heart beats

You smile and put your head on my thighs

I remember – understand

My hand combs through your hair, no words spoken

Safe – protected

I found a home in your eyes.

Fade away

Fading away

Gaping wounds on my soul
Ice in my veins
No one will cry
Or put flowers on this grave

See me fading away

Uncomfortable silence
Comfortably numb
Falling down
Drowning in a puddle

Stop beating heart
Stop shaking hands

Fading away

Turn off the lights
Close the door
Absolute loneliness
Look the other way

I faded away.