Yesteryear’s love

There are hints of me in every corner of your mind

I hide in every word you speak and whisper

Three-hundred sixty-five thousand afterthoughts and lost moments

The impalpable dent on your soul is where I found my invisible home

And I melt on your tongue when your dream vanishes at dusk

Steady! Forget to feel me in your breathing air

I will forever linger on your skin; a veil of the past leaving you blind

And you’ll wish that you’d remember who left the void inside.

I’m still loving you

Overflowing

Underflowing

I don’t know where I am going.

Would you catch me if I ran?

Would you take me back again?

Overwhelming

Underwhelming

Say something; tell me

That I am in your heart

And that I inspire your art.

Exploding

Imploding

I can still feel you under my skin.

Life is not the same without your light

Let me fall asleep in your arms; hold me tight.

###

Nothing

I travelled across the sea and drowned at the foot of an insurmountable mountain

Under every rock, I hid, until all that was left of me were shadows in the grass

The nothingness I became began to float up into the sky and was burned in the searing heat of the sun

I turned into dust – blown by the wind, leaving invisible traces on your soul and in your mind.

stronger than yesterday

Shadows are hunting my dreams

Thieves! They want to steal my light; or so it seems.

I run faster. I stumble and curse and stutter

It all makes my thoughts pucker.

Wrinkled mind and uneven ideas;

My demons insist on instilling fears.

But deep inside grows a seed,

It was planted in my brain before I was freed.

Cracks in my walls let light in;

Its heat tickles my skin.

Bold and fearless I stretch my senses,

Breaking down the last remaining fences.

The shadows hide in the light of day,

But they will be back, and I am ready to fight; come whatever may.

gone ’til November

Mistakes, I made a few. But none of them was you.

In the middle of the night, I lost the fight.

I ran away from myself, hid my memories between books on the shelf.

If I didn’t miss you this much, if I could re-feel your last touch;

but what’s done is done. You’re gone.

I am too, I don’t know what to do.

Words became shadows, minds decompose.

I wish you were here, but I am relieved you are not near.

burning ink

And while words are written and songs are sung, we are trying to find out what’s going to become of us.

Burning ink

Whispers on a page

And we are asleep and dreaming. Living in a fantasy that will never be.

Raging storms

Blown away thoughts

And the world around us keeps spinning; night turns into day again and again.

Spilled tears

Growing seeds

Neverending heaviness settles around our hearts. No more air, just dust. Only just what is left of us.

Throwback poetry

Hands be still!
Thoughts go to sleep.
You make me breathe
You suffocate me too.

Voices be silent!
Stop the tremblings.
You fixed me.
It’s all because of you.

Don’t torture me.
Cold-turkey.
I am dying here.
Fulfill my cravings!

I lose my dignity.
Dirty trash.
Who will want me after this?
Branded by you.

Just a little more.
I beg and pray.
I will stop after this.
But it is a lie.

I need it.
I need you.
Give me what I want!
Don’t let me suffer.

The clock is ticking.
I am wilting away.
My body is shutting down.
Sick.

One last time.
For me.
Be there for me.
You were my saviour, always.

I become a prostitute for you.
Just ease the pain.
Fill the void
And make me float.

You are unyielding.
I hate you!
Please, no. I love you.
Don’t leave!

Cradle me!
A few more moments.
I need you.
But I am not an addict.

These are my parting words
As I leave this toxic world.
You didn’t give me what I needed
And now I vanish.

I disappear
Leaving no trace.
Your love
Is my death.

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠

(December 2015, for the life of me, I cannot remember why this one was not included in Unquiet Minds)

From the inside out.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see remnants of you. You are where you are supposed to be. No trespassing. Hidden in that tiny space, I gave up for you.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see myself. I am who you helped me be. No guilt and no regrets. Free because of the room I made for you.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

We kept our promises. We are still waiting for the right moment to come. For the need to consume us.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I see us. The want. The passion. The souls that are entwined. Two hearts melted into one. Torn apart.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I will stay here, for whenever your mind craves my soul, you will find me here. A changed girl.

Deep breath.

I look inside. Deep inside.

I am peace. I am gratitude. I am a memory engraved into your skull. Flowing through your veins. I am your life’s breath.