Not the beginning, not the end

Dark nights
Bright days
Never forget
Our happy sails.
Stormy waters
Foggy mist
You are at the top
of my list.

Our hearts
were not ready
Our souls
Were starving.
Our minds
Got distracted
Our worlds
Imploded – exploded.

Too many
internal fights
Too many
Silent nights
Too many lefts
That were never right
Too much of us
And the light shone too bright.

Now that we are gone
We are existing again
Now that we are apart
We can grow again
Now that this page is written
Our story is complete
Now that our hearts beat out of tune
We need to write new songs.

Precious treasure
Buried chest
Planted seed
The beginning
And
The end.

secrets

secrets that make my skin tingle
and put a smile on my face.
secrets that make my heart race
and make my stomach churn.
secrets that no one will ever know.
secrets that no one will ever believe.
repeating the words just for my ears
repeating the promise just for your eyes.
secrets that will be our downfall
secrets that make us rise.
You made me your secret.
And secretly, I adore you for that.

 

(tbt – December 2015)

Beating heart

My heart has to be able to beat without you to set my soul free

But my soul is holding on to your memory

My memories pretend to be in tune with yours

But we are out of tune. You and me.

Travelling next to each other in different directions

If we walk long enough, we will meet again

I’d walk over mountain and swim through the seas

To find my way into your heart

And let it beat again for me.

Draw me

Draw me in an ocean
Draw me in the sand
Draw me in the seas
Draw me on the land.

Draw me on the clouds
And push the sky away.
Draw me under your skin
In this special magic way.

Draw me in your music
And draw me on your sheets
Draw me in your mind
Draw me when we are in heat.

Draw my silhouette
Draw my soul
Draw my flaws
And draw what makes me whole.

Draw me in my sleep
Draw me on my knees
Draw a picture of me on your heart;
For I am your most precious piece of art.

flowers

who will put flowers on my grave?
who will be there on my final days?
and when I am gone
when I sang my final song,
who will take flowers to my grave?
In the rain
waiting to be washed away,
like the fading flowers on my grave.
and there I wait
for my ultimate fate
and I see your flowers on my grave.

*inspired by the song Flowers by Antimatter*

the day the earth stood still

The earth stood still, you let go and I fell off. Broken bones and bruised skin. Dented soul. Enormous hole – inside. Rejected. Ignored. I lay in our excretions. Drowning in foul thoughts. No surprises. You pulled back and I am left in our mess. I watch you leave and stop to breathe. Prepared to be gone. To not exist. But I am not dead enough inside. I will live. I splutter and I cough, before I get up. Yes, it hurts, but I will heal. The blood and piss will wash off. But you… you are in me. Tattooed under my skin. Carved into the walls of my skull. I will never get rid of you. Stay where you are, but get out. The earth needs to spin, even when I can’t see through the fog. Even when I am caught in the shadow. The day will come when I will fly. Awake. Forever awake.

I’m only human

If you look at me, please see me. If you see me for the person that I am, please love me.
If you listen to me, please hear me. If you hear my words, please understand them.
If you want me, don’t hold back. If you don’t hold back, I will be all yours.

***

This is actually no fiction. This is all me in my most vulnerable state. I am afraid to be invisible, invaluable, used…

No room for darkness

There is nothing dark.
We are each other’s light.
There is nothing taboo.
We are consenting.
There is nothing off limits
We are willing to push our boundaries.
There is nothing unattainable
We are carrying each other on our journey
There is nothing to worry about
We feel each other when we are not there.
There is nothing wrong.
Everything about us is right.
There is nothing dark.
You are my light. I am yours.

This is for you to know

Sing a song for me. Write a song about me. Remember what we had and preserve it for eternity.
Hidden in your mind, I’ll stay. For no one to see. For no one to know.
Feel me in your soul. I’ll stay there. A memory. For no one to see. For us to know.
I wander through the night. Awake while the world is asleep. For no one to see. For you to know.
It’s all in the way you made me feel.

links

Two links:

First one for a book called Whispers of Hope:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/119413826-whispers-of-hope

It is an ongoing collection of poetry.

 

Second link:

It’s a book callen Burnt Wood

https://www.wattpad.com/story/106718274-burnt-wood

Short pieces of poetry, thoughts and flash fiction can be read here. Once in a while a piece of music is added to a particular piece… I hope you listen to them and find something new that you’ll like 🙂

 

I hope you enjoy them,

Thank you and have a great week

Cathy

untitled

we were Howling at the moon
sleeping with the stArs
Rowing uP, rowing down
Possessed waters.
But you alwaYs kept me safe.

unBridled lust
Inner heat;
inexistent post-oRgasmic bliss;
we were not made to sTand the rain
i can live with or witHout you
but my Days are better if you are there.
we’ve mAde it through another year,
happY birthday, my sweet love.

But…

Damaged

But not broken

Bruised

But not bleeding

Happy

But not smiling

Sad

But not crying

Thinking

But not speaking

Scared

But not hiding

Love

But not them

Here

But not there

Silent

But not inside

Empty

But filled with emotions

Dreaming

But not sleeping

Apathetic

But full of passion

Lost

But not when you are there.

colours

Inside this grey and black vessel is a lot of colour

I tend to forget it’s there, but it is bursting out the cracks

I am a rainbow hidden in a cloud

Let me rain

Let me shine

Let me show you who I really am.

I cover your black with my colour

And paint your night away

Until I used it all and I am back to my usual grey.

Share your colour with me

Make it rain

Make me shine

And show them who I really am.

We will paint the grey away;

Coloured rain

Colours reign.