Saudade

Silent

Absence,

Unquiet

Dreams

And

Demons;

Endless longing.

 

Author’s note:

Saudade – the presence of absence, or who Wikipedia explains it:

Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.

Don’t ignore me.

Diamonds trying to outshine the dark, but

Only light can make them spark.

Novelty has worn off

Too many times we’ve gone soft.

*

Ingrained, but never imagined in our wildest dreams, how we are

Growing together, and secretly falling apart at our seams.

Nothing can contain our lust

Other than the chains that must

Reign us in, and keep us caged;

Endlessly devoted to a love that hasn’t aged.

*

Millions of thoughts keep us apart;

Emotions and memories – forever locked away in my heart.

Throwback Poetry – my biggest secret

You are my greatest escape
my biggest secret
giving, never taking
For you, I feel my love growing
and my despair too

don’t forget me
don’t ignore me
my heart couldn’t bear the loss

I don’t want to be like them
I allow you to see me
and to love me
but I shouldn’t
I am not free

don’t forget me
don’t ignore me
my heart couldn’t bear the loss

you are my biggest secret
the man who makes me rise above every doubt and fear
I dream of you and I want you
until reality comes crushing down on me
and I fall

don’t forget me
don’t ignore me
my heart couldn’t bear the loss

I don’t want to be hurt
but I’m hurting you
I am not free
but I love you
and yet, I shouldn’t

don’t forget me
don’t ignore me
losing you would break me.

(March 2014)

Author’s Note…
Every Thursday I browse my body of work to see what I wrote this time a couple of years ago. Today, I am choosing to share this particular piece. Why? It reads like a premonition. Years later, after this poem was long erased from my thoughts and mind, things happened in my life that could make even myself believe that the poem was non-fiction; but when this was written, it was complete fiction. Life imitates art. And he ignores me. I am not sure if he will ever be able to forget me – after all, I am unforgettable.

a final leap

I’m coming home, she said. 
But it was a lie
Words whispered at night into the sky.
The blues tugged at the corners of her being
If only the right one could be there, seeing.
But he never was.
Another human mind asleep
Never thinking or getting in too deep.
And as the wind invited her to join the never ending dance of life,
She let out a wail and jumped into the light.
This time, the words she had spoken had been true,
Hadn’t there been someone, someone new.
Without intent, he saved her from a graceless fall
Together they stood on the ledge of a wall.
I want to go home, she whispered.
Nodding, he took her hand
Together they took a leap into a foreign land.
Faded and jaded from years spent in misery,
These strangers joined each other for the rest of eternity.
Home is not a building made of bricks and stone
It is the person, that feeling we have when we aren’t alone.

my brightest star

Stolen kisses,
lots of them
A thousand misses
Again and again.

Cover my bruised heart
With sinful heat
Allow us a new start
You can take the lead.

The rhythm guides our moves
Undulating, thrusting;
The lovers’ groove
Never everlasting.

A blanket of sweat
Covers you and me
Allow me that;
Mark me with your seed.

Oh how I crave your touch
The blissful release
It doesn’t take too much
You get me there, with ease.

You between my thighs
You bring me peace
Never felt a higher high
Let me come, please.

I feel you inside
No protection at all
My eyes water with pride
As I suffer the final fall.

Some consider us a sin
But you are the best part of me
Completing me from within,
The one who opened my eyes to see.

I give myself to you
Heart, mind and soul
Give me yourself too
And I will fill your holes.

This is your song
You know who you are.
I haven’t known you for very long
But you are my brightest star.

beautiful rain

The clouds gathered above my head,

I shook my hair, refusing to accept that I was mad

And the rain began soaking my naked body

My nose rose in defiance; yes, I was that snotty

Roots grew out of my feet, keeping me steady

One, two, three. I felt it in my bones; I was ready

I wasn’t drowning; I was nurtured and growing

And time and space was slowing (down)

My head fell back, and my arms rose against the gloomy sky

Fuzzy images behind my eyes; suggestive lies

Victorious at last, my skin was washed clean

Memories of who I was and where I’d been

My unquiet mind was reeling from this new emotion

Life passing by in slow motion

A new seed was beginning to grow

Goodbye. Hello.