shadow of the ghost

I was trying to catch the shadow of a ghost and I was wondering why you kept slipping through my fingers.

The last time I saw the moon was when you and me were merged at the centre of our beings.

The last time I enjoyed the sun was when your perspiration mingled with mine.

I was trying to hold on to the stars but they faded every day at sunrise and you kept slipping through my fingers.

And I became blind and numb without you.
And I became blind and numb with you.

With you
Without you.

The moon. The sun. The shooting stars. The shadow of the ghost I was so in love with. They were a romantic illusion I held on to, while you gently slipped through my fingers.

Blueneck – ghosts (from the album The Outpost)

The end of the line

This is the end of the line
This is where I tie my noose.
I have been loosing my mind
But that’s okay, it lost its use.

I dance and I turn around and around
A manic laughter erupts from my face
My thoughts are now unbound
Lost in my lost mind’s maze.

Where is my mind?
It is drowning in a sea of forgotten memories.
The agony has turning me blind
But there is hope for recovery.

New hope under a different horizon
And the noose releases its grip around my neck
Isn’t life mesmerising?
I am back.

My weakness is how strong I can be
My earthly vessel is my kingdom
With blind eyes I can clearly see
Incoherent thoughts fuel my wisdom.

I can’t let go
Broken mind and closed off heart
I won’t say “no”
New dawn. New start.

pictures of us

This is me when I’m with you
and this is me when I am not.
I still believe that we can be in tune
And I pretend to miss you a lot.
Pictures of us

This is how I imagine you to be
and this is who you really are
I am not blind, I can see
There is a new model waiting at the bar.
Pictures of us

This is how we fell apart
and these are the tears we shared
I’ll still keep a space in my heart
where we don’t need to be scared.
Pictures of us

This is how we moved on
and this is who we became
Both of us are strong
Too many times we were the same.
Pictures of us

This is me when you’re not there
and this is my freed mind.
I stood in front of you, bare
and you saw, you were not blind.
Pictures of us

This is me and the happiness that was your gift
and this is you living under clouds
It is me who is missed
whose face you will not see in crowds.
Pictures of us

This is me and I will not forget
and this is you, you are all set.
I promised no regret
Thankfully staying in your debt.
Pictures of us

This is me when I am in the dark
and this is me when I am the light
You ignited the first spark
I drink up the night.
Pictures of us

This is how it used to be
and this is how it really was
frames filled with memories
loving them just because (they are)
pictures of us.

unlocked cage

I still taste you on my lips, you, the one who left me reeling
I cherish what you left and accept that you don’t share my feeling.
I push you out of my soul
If it just wouldn’t leave a gaping hole
But it is okay
What else am I supposed to say?!
You vanished in thin air
Where you ever there?
I guess I was in this alone,
Available for a couple of moans.
I say goodbye for now and erase you from my page
But I admit, I am still waiting in your cage.
How is it possible that I fell for you?
Someone who knows only his own view?
You brought the light and stole it again
You were the ink in my pen.
Did you ever appreciate who I became for you?
Or was I right and I am one of a few?
I let you see me in all my glory
And shared my life’s story.
I was too blind to see that you never cared about me
That I was just another fish in the sea.
I am done waiting for you to use me again
Forgotten. You. Me. Us. Goodbye.

Spirits in need near the edge of lust

Spirits in need
Under crumbling bridges.
Bring back whatever it is you stole;
My love, my lust, my gentle touch.
Iridescent stars light the way
Shining on – and guiding our lost minds.
Souls meeting in silent understanding,
Intuition tells us what we need to do.
Our selves lose importance
Near the edge of lust.

(could this poem be an acrostic?! Yes, maybe, certainly, it is!)

untitled (suggestions welcome)

Leaves dancing in the rain
Sun licking the morning dew;
Reflections in the window pane
Grey skies turning blue.

Behind a concealing mask
Feelings are an uncomfortable mess,
To understand is an unbearable task
And it’s easier to leave than to stay, I guess.

Toxic thoughts and actions;
Driving‚Äč so-called friends away
Understanding their reactions
But missing them forever and a day.

More light in the dark
More tears in an ocean
Another life’s mark
Overcome by emotion.

A head full of spinning thoughts
Cowering in the corner of my mind
To unfurl their knots.
Once again, I am left behind.

A soap bubble of for never
Floating up to the clouds
A memory to stay forever
Hidden from the crowds.

I am the shadow in my light
I am the hope in my despair
But after my lastest sleepless night
I can say that I am still there.

At night everything is different

Gloomy thoughts
Under lilac trees
No orange hues
Illuminating the streets.

Heavy scents
Leading the ways
Enchanting words
Enticing games.

Pictures that no one will see
Songs that will never be heard
Nonsense makes sense
And she loses direction in life’s labyrinth.

Hidden messages
In plain sight
Words whispered
In the stillness of the night.

Walking under shadows
Past willow trees
Invisible happiness
Found on her knees.

Iridescent internal life
Completed by imperfections
Darkness becomes light
It has always been you.

when the love has gone

There is an ocean between us
Filled with our tears
Sadness and regrets
All washed up on the shore.

The distance is growing into a road
Paved with silence
Thoughts and lost passion
Driving us farther away from home.

The bags on our shoulders are heavy
Packed with longing
Memories and grief
Bringing us down on our knees.

The waves are swallowing what is left of us
Drinking it in
Forgetting and forgiving
Until our path brings us together again.

The wind blows away our differences
Far far away
Higher and higher
Before they will vanish into nothing.

The ocean turns into a puddle
Obstacles easy to overcome
Past and future
And a friendship will bloom.

pleading to the full moon

The moon is blinding me
Hiding our sin
I am not sure if I am okay

If I could just see…
If I kiss the sweat off your skin
Could our love see another day?

If we drowned in the sea
Or let the sun wear us thin
What if the love let us sway?

How wrong could that be?
Would we believe the voices within?
And would we take a chance to let our love stay?

How many days until we are free?
How many lost battles until we win?
There has to be a way.

paper man

Paper man
Pale and unseen
Crumbled and bruised
So many ways
To be de-creased, uncreased.
But no one is there
To pull at the edges
Of your sheet.
Too many lit fires ūüĒ•
Too many coffee stains
Not a blank page anymore
And still
There is room left
To write a new story
Paper man.

where did our hearts go?

I know you are there
but I don’t know where
I’m trying to find you in the dark
To feel your presence in my heart.

Staring out into the cold
Reaching for your hand to have and to hold
Our love has gone away
There was no valuable reason to make it stay.

And while the world keeps turning
my soul keeps yearning
for you – who completed my lost mind
and to whom my heart was assigned.

 

Once

‚ÄčOnce, dreams brought solace to the struggling mind

Now it just deepens the sorrow, destroying hopes with nightmares.

Nights used to be an escape

But the loneliness is amplified by the silence that surrounds the jaded soul.

Teardrop

I grant you this teardrop
it is my last emotion for you.
Take the memories when you close the door
and erase the broken melodies.
Our friendship is forever stained
and it will never be how it was.
You moved on
and I am still right here.
I’ll make the same mistakes again
countless times and more
Take this last teardrop from me,
lock it up and keep it safe
no need to say sorry
it is just another lonely goodbye.

one more time

‚ÄčEmpty vessel in my skin
You close the door
And I am not here
Trapped within.

There is no way out of this cage
Nothing left to chose
Yet everything left to lose
Blank page.

Call for my mind
But don’t hurt me again
I can’t bear the pain
Please, don’t leave me behind.

With you gone
I turn to the riverman
To give a helping hand
To take me away at dawn.

And the river understands the silent words
It remembers where you are
And that we will always remain close, never far
We became sherds.

Cut bleeding on this broken love
Our dreams became nightmares
Lovesongs pushed down the steepest stairs
Why couldn’t we rise above?

What happened to all those rhymes you whispered at night?
Your voice belongs to another one
Your light became another one’s sun
And I keep searching for you, far and wide.

Our year wasn’t wasted
But I can’t find the words to say
Please stay
Your lips were the sweetest I have ever tasted.

I cower in the corner of my mind
Wishing myself into your arms
Where there is no one inflicting never healing harms
Please come back – I am there; easy to find.

The Riddle of the Night

‚ÄčIn the riddle of the night
He is sliding down the rainbow
Down it goes
Drowning in a pot of nightmares.

The bony hand reaching out
Breaks under his weight
A guilty conscience
Still growing.

All the grudges and regrets
The missed opportunities
The people who were pushed into the rain
He fears at night when he sees them in the light.

It’s a dreadful moment
In a mad world
He loved to hate
And the rabbit stole his last grasp of sanity.

Under the rainbow is no shelter
Lost luster
And silent screams
He begs for someone to solve the riddle of the night.

come home

‚ÄčWaiting at the crossroads
Waiting at the station
For you to come home.

Waking in the morning hours
Waking whenever I am asleep
Cause you will come home.

Wading through deep waters
Wading through muddy thoughts
Because you will come home.

And as I wander in my mind
And as I try to remember your eyes
I keep waiting – for you to come home.

lover of mine

‚ÄčLover of mine

I see the glittering sun setting at the end of the ocean

Your face cast in ethereal glows.

Oh how I am reminded the way my heart is on the line.

Golden shadows hush over heaven and earth

And as the world falls asleep,

Our flames are ignited, we can feel it in our spines.

Darkness consumes us, but not from within

A blazing fire keeps our souls entwined,

In a million there is no lover’s story of this kind.

Days fall asleep and nights are awoken

Moons are full and some are broken,

But all is fine, as long as you’re with me,

Lover of mine.

And the Voice Keeps Whispering…

‚ÄčIn my ears I hear the voice,

It’s whispering the truths I always try to avoid.

I know so many things,

But I ignore them until my ship sinks.

Too many people play nice

But inside their chests, they hide a heart of ice.

Call me a fool

Maybe even try to make me your tool,

But you will never bend me your way,

Because I am the one with the last say.

I discussed and thought about it at length

In my soul is a lot of hidden strength.

Silence! Hush now, you evil voice.

I ban you out of my head and forbid that ongoing noise.

The voice keeps whispering and that is not bad

Yes, sometimes it makes me sad,

But there are also the times when it tells me to hold on fast

And leave the memories where they belong – in the past.

On second thought, don’t vanish you beautiful voice,

Just remind me that I have a choice.

You guide me when I’m lost

Under the searing sun and the misty frost.

Never let me fall apart,

Just consider this another start.

Whispers are louder than screams,

At least that’s what the voice said in my dreams.

me before you

‚ÄčWho was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I be able to breathe when you aren’t my air?
And will I cease to exist when you aren’t there?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my heart find a rhythm of its own?
And will I cry myself to sleep – alone?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my mind find peace and serenity?
And will I remember you longer than eternity?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my smile be brave and strong?
And will I hear our story in every song?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I go back to the way I was before?
And will there be an other opened door?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my brain pretend that everything’s a lie?
And will my thoughts ever truly say goodbye?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will there still be happiness for me?
And will it come with a price or is it for free?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I ever forget you?
And will I ever forget how to love you, too?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?

Don’t Remind Me

‚ÄčWere you the stitches that held my broken heart together?

Were you in the words I erased from my page?

Remind me of the reasons why I needed you?

Truth is, I need you to fill the silence within.

Truth is, I need you to fill the pages in my book.

Remind me of the reasons why I love you?

It is all in the songs we didn’t hear.

It is all in the breathing air we didn’t share.

No reminder needed…

Don’t forget me

‚ÄčDon’t forget my voice, raspy and deep

Don’t forget my eyes, brown and soulful

Don’t forget my touch, gentle and persistent

Don’t forget my scent, the essence of me, no soap or perfume

Don’t forget my tears, the taste of them, not the reason

Don’t forget my smile, and the sound of my laughter

Don’t forget my words, written and spoken

Don’t forget my love, deep and true

Don’t forget me…