call me!

I read your sensual words. I can’t deny the affect they have. The slight blush and the heat that wanders from my core to my center. I press my knees together. Blissful, tormenting heat.

I hear your voice. You called. And I hear the affect I have on you too. You sound breathless and your voice is higher. More heat spreads inside me. Blissful, tormenting heat. And it is your doing.

Your voice utters more words. My body reacts. You know it does. And as I follow your orders and give my own, I giggle. Yes, I giggle. Because you know the right words and the way they affect me. Goose flesh spreads all over my skin.

Wandering hands. Rustling sheets. Hushed voices on the phone, and heated skins. Words. Demanding. Sweet. Begging. More. And you know how to pleasure me.

The magic words. The ones that never disappoint. The order comes. I hear it and imagine your ragged breath against my ear. Your hands on me. Those words. Just two. Deeply affecting me. *** *****

Fire in my veins. Devouring pleasure. Trembling. Pulsating. Inside. Outside. And still your voice in me. Urging me on. Can’t stop now. The tension that once lived inside is soaking my fingers. Your words released me.

I can’t move. I can’t think. There are no words. Silence. Your silence is just as affecting as your words. Your erratic breath tells me everything I need to know. I affect you too.

For a moment, the world ceases to exist. Just you. Me. Our breaths. Our silence. Shared words that don’t need to be said. Subsiding heat. Fading tension. A chuckle. Two more words. And the call ends.

flowers

who will put flowers on my grave?
who will be there on my final days?
and when I am gone
when I sang my final song,
who will take flowers to my grave?
In the rain
waiting to be washed away,
like the fading flowers on my grave.
and there I wait
for my ultimate fate
and I see your flowers on my grave.

*inspired by the song Flowers by Antimatter*

I’m only human

If you look at me, please see me. If you see me for the person that I am, please love me.
If you listen to me, please hear me. If you hear my words, please understand them.
If you want me, don’t hold back. If you don’t hold back, I will be all yours.

***

This is actually no fiction. This is all me in my most vulnerable state. I am afraid to be invisible, invaluable, used…

Spirits in need near the edge of lust

Spirits in need
Under crumbling bridges.
Bring back whatever it is you stole;
My love, my lust, my gentle touch.
Iridescent stars light the way
Shining on – and guiding our lost minds.
Souls meeting in silent understanding,
Intuition tells us what we need to do.
Our selves lose importance
Near the edge of lust.

(could this poem be an acrostic?! Yes, maybe, certainly, it is!)

untitled (suggestions welcome)

Leaves dancing in the rain
Sun licking the morning dew;
Reflections in the window pane
Grey skies turning blue.

Behind a concealing mask
Feelings are an uncomfortable mess,
To understand is an unbearable task
And it’s easier to leave than to stay, I guess.

Toxic thoughts and actions;
Driving​ so-called friends away
Understanding their reactions
But missing them forever and a day.

More light in the dark
More tears in an ocean
Another life’s mark
Overcome by emotion.

A head full of spinning thoughts
Cowering in the corner of my mind
To unfurl their knots.
Once again, I am left behind.

A soap bubble of for never
Floating up to the clouds
A memory to stay forever
Hidden from the crowds.

I am the shadow in my light
I am the hope in my despair
But after my lastest sleepless night
I can say that I am still there.

when the love has gone

There is an ocean between us
Filled with our tears
Sadness and regrets
All washed up on the shore.

The distance is growing into a road
Paved with silence
Thoughts and lost passion
Driving us farther away from home.

The bags on our shoulders are heavy
Packed with longing
Memories and grief
Bringing us down on our knees.

The waves are swallowing what is left of us
Drinking it in
Forgetting and forgiving
Until our path brings us together again.

The wind blows away our differences
Far far away
Higher and higher
Before they will vanish into nothing.

The ocean turns into a puddle
Obstacles easy to overcome
Past and future
And a friendship will bloom.

pleading to the full moon

The moon is blinding me
Hiding our sin
I am not sure if I am okay

If I could just see…
If I kiss the sweat off your skin
Could our love see another day?

If we drowned in the sea
Or let the sun wear us thin
What if the love let us sway?

How wrong could that be?
Would we believe the voices within?
And would we take a chance to let our love stay?

How many days until we are free?
How many lost battles until we win?
There has to be a way.

paper man

Paper man
Pale and unseen
Crumbled and bruised
So many ways
To be de-creased, uncreased.
But no one is there
To pull at the edges
Of your sheet.
Too many lit fires 🔥
Too many coffee stains
Not a blank page anymore
And still
There is room left
To write a new story
Paper man.

where did our hearts go?

I know you are there
but I don’t know where
I’m trying to find you in the dark
To feel your presence in my heart.

Staring out into the cold
Reaching for your hand to have and to hold
Our love has gone away
There was no valuable reason to make it stay.

And while the world keeps turning
my soul keeps yearning
for you – who completed my lost mind
and to whom my heart was assigned.

 

Teardrop

I grant you this teardrop
it is my last emotion for you.
Take the memories when you close the door
and erase the broken melodies.
Our friendship is forever stained
and it will never be how it was.
You moved on
and I am still right here.
I’ll make the same mistakes again
countless times and more
Take this last teardrop from me,
lock it up and keep it safe
no need to say sorry
it is just another lonely goodbye.

one more time

​Empty vessel in my skin
You close the door
And I am not here
Trapped within.

There is no way out of this cage
Nothing left to chose
Yet everything left to lose
Blank page.

Call for my mind
But don’t hurt me again
I can’t bear the pain
Please, don’t leave me behind.

With you gone
I turn to the riverman
To give a helping hand
To take me away at dawn.

And the river understands the silent words
It remembers where you are
And that we will always remain close, never far
We became sherds.

Cut bleeding on this broken love
Our dreams became nightmares
Lovesongs pushed down the steepest stairs
Why couldn’t we rise above?

What happened to all those rhymes you whispered at night?
Your voice belongs to another one
Your light became another one’s sun
And I keep searching for you, far and wide.

Our year wasn’t wasted
But I can’t find the words to say
Please stay
Your lips were the sweetest I have ever tasted.

I cower in the corner of my mind
Wishing myself into your arms
Where there is no one inflicting never healing harms
Please come back – I am there; easy to find.

me before you

​Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I be able to breathe when you aren’t my air?
And will I cease to exist when you aren’t there?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my heart find a rhythm of its own?
And will I cry myself to sleep – alone?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my mind find peace and serenity?
And will I remember you longer than eternity?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my smile be brave and strong?
And will I hear our story in every song?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I go back to the way I was before?
And will there be an other opened door?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my brain pretend that everything’s a lie?
And will my thoughts ever truly say goodbye?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will there still be happiness for me?
And will it come with a price or is it for free?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I ever forget you?
And will I ever forget how to love you, too?

Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?

Don’t Remind Me

​Were you the stitches that held my broken heart together?

Were you in the words I erased from my page?

Remind me of the reasons why I needed you?

Truth is, I need you to fill the silence within.

Truth is, I need you to fill the pages in my book.

Remind me of the reasons why I love you?

It is all in the songs we didn’t hear.

It is all in the breathing air we didn’t share.

No reminder needed…

Don’t forget me

​Don’t forget my voice, raspy and deep

Don’t forget my eyes, brown and soulful

Don’t forget my touch, gentle and persistent

Don’t forget my scent, the essence of me, no soap or perfume

Don’t forget my tears, the taste of them, not the reason

Don’t forget my smile, and the sound of my laughter

Don’t forget my words, written and spoken

Don’t forget my love, deep and true

Don’t forget me…

ask me gently

Ask for my hand, I want your fingers wrapped around mine.
Ask for my kiss, I want your breath mingled with mine.
Ask for my soul, I will sell it too you and give you everything that used to be mine.

 

Someone said that this was subtle erotica… made me smile because it has not been written as such, but it could be read as such… and I never tire to say that reading is a subjective experience. xx

no more shelter

I want to take shelter in your arms

in their safety and your calm.

I want to hide from reality

and still see with clarity.

Don’t let us end like this

we had more than a myth.

I can feel you in my dreams

and I don’t know what it means.

Spare one thought for your favourite sinner

while your memories of me are growing thinner.

I never want you to forget me

and I don’t want you to set me free.

I needed you to be my forever

and now, you will be my never ever…