If I fall
I will rise
If I feel buried
I am actually planted
If I am in the dark
I am facing the light
I am your star
In broad daylight
I am your sun
If I am asleep
You are awake in my dreams
When I am cold
You are my heat.
Fallen angel –
We were caught.
Memories for hours.
A piano in tune
A melody for her
We will meet again soon
And the past is a blur.
Pain lets her breathe
After a silent night
She’s in way too deep
Chasing the light.
But the music plays on
And the sand fills a glass
She will walk amongst the stars.
For one night, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.
For never. Forever.
For life; I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.
If you look at me, please see me. If you see me for the person that I am, please love me.
If you listen to me, please hear me. If you hear my words, please understand them.
If you want me, don’t hold back. If you don’t hold back, I will be all yours.
This is actually no fiction. This is all me in my most vulnerable state. I am afraid to be invisible, invaluable, used…
Sing a song for me. Write a song about me. Remember what we had and preserve it for eternity.
Hidden in your mind, I’ll stay. For no one to see. For no one to know.
Feel me in your soul. I’ll stay there. A memory. For no one to see. For us to know.
I wander through the night. Awake while the world is asleep. For no one to see. For you to know.
It’s all in the way you made me feel.
Release your grip from my heart
You’re crushing me
Not stopping until I fall apart.
Release your power over me
I’m not a puppet on a string
I can’t find happiness on my knees.
Release me. Release me. Release me.
Set me free.
But not broken
But not bleeding
But not smiling
But not crying
But not speaking
But not hiding
But not them
But not there
But not inside
But filled with emotions
But not sleeping
But full of passion
But not when you are there.
Inside this grey and black vessel is a lot of colour
I tend to forget it’s there, but it is bursting out the cracks
I am a rainbow hidden in a cloud
Let me rain
Let me shine
Let me show you who I really am.
I cover your black with my colour
And paint your night away
Until I used it all and I am back to my usual grey.
Share your colour with me
Make it rain
Make me shine
And show them who I really am.
We will paint the grey away;
There is always a little spark of light in the darkness and there is always a small shadow in the light.
This thought is what’s keeps me powering on in the dark days.
I woke up surrounded by water
And I was drowning within
My soul was floating on sins;
My thoughts became darker.
I was not prepared for two years later
Pushing and pulling – twin-flame.
I wish there was a way to feel safer,
But there has to be a loser in every game.
This time it’s me; next time it’s you;
That’s the beauty and the failure of us two.
There was an earthquake in my soul
I am stirred and shaken
Some parts of my walls crumbled
Some parts of my heart lie hidden underneath falling debris
There was a soulquake in my earth
My view is tearing up and blurry
Some parts of my world can never be rebuilt
Some parts of my inner self are left forever changed.
I have the most horrible handwriting 😉
I am right when I turn left
I am left when I am right
I sleep in my dreams
And dream when I am asleep
I cry when I laugh
And laugh when I cry
I am invisible when I am here
And here when I’m invisible
I am here when I am there
And there when I am here
I make no sense when I write
And I write non-sense
I listen to your whisper
And whisper when I listen
I do all and am nothing
I do nothing and am all
Two sides to every story
Two stories for every side.
The flame that heats your frozen heart
The thought that brings you through the night
The stars that guide your way in the dark
The song that keeps your soul alight
The shoulder you lean on
The ear you whisper into
The love of your life
The one who fits profoundly
… That’s who I am to you.
(Or the one I want to be for you)
It comes in waves
Whispers of hope
Taking seed inside my mind.
More and more.
Whispers of hope
A flower in bloom
A sun rising in the sky
A song sung out of tune
A smile, for no reason.
Whispers of hope.
My hands are tied
My mind is lost
As I run naked through the night
And surrender to the frost.
There is no place for you
No trust to give
It was never about us two
But, I will live.
Let me freeze for now,
My heart will thaw soon
I will go on somehow
And send our love to the moon.
For years you darkened my thoughts
Please allow me some happiness too.
Feel some pain over my loss
And remember how my life and love used to be just for you.
Words and pages written, all meant for you
But they stayed silent and unread,
We know it is true.
“Everything is okay,” you said.
As the frost on my face turns into tears,
I mourn what we never were
But I will not regret our years.
Even with you never really being there.
One last kiss to make me breathe again
One last kiss to say goodbye
One last kiss to keep me sane
One last kiss before I learn to fly.
I wish you were here to take away my fear
Knowing that you are just around the corner
A touch and a swipe on the screen away
Today, I need you to be here in my ear
I need to hear your voice, your words
Just for me and for you; you and me and you
Your guidance would help me through this struggle
Giving away my thoughts and my control
I feel this mind is losing a battle again
But I don’t dare to get in touch with you
I can’t burden you with my egoism
I wish you were here to take away this fear
Little known truths
Of love. Loss.
Vulnerable. Almost unbearable.
Empty heart. Heartbroken.
Words lick my skin
Inside. Craving the sin.
These truths became fantasies
Heaven weeps. Lost minds?
Yielding strength. We gave up.
Old wounds become new scars.
Untouchable thoughts. Forever hidden memories.
(Dedicated to my best friend who passed away two years ago. He shared the Thin Lizzy song “still in love with you” with me one night. (Sharing music was our thing.) I listened to that song earlier and that’s what inspired this poem.)
One leap and
You’ll be free
But you fear the hurt
The hurt you’ll feel
The hurt I’ll feel.
If we changed directions now
Into the future, away from the past?
But I fear the hurt
The hurt I’ll feel
The hurt you’ll feel
You will not leap
I will not jump
Together, we fall
Awoken by the sound of a dropping eyelash
Floating to the pillow, loaded with memories
A puff of sleeping breath prolongs its journey
Hiding it from the world; making it disappear.
There are holes in the ground
Fill them with the debris of our love
Scattered fragments of our souls
Floating in a sea of tears.
This was not what we signed up for
Emotional baggage bringing us down.
Hauntingly whispered ditties ring in our ears
Out of tune,
And what remains of who we were lies buried in the ground.
I still taste you on my lips, you, the one who left me reeling
I cherish what you left and accept that you don’t share my feeling.
I push you out of my soul
If it just wouldn’t leave a gaping hole
But it is okay
What else am I supposed to say?!
You vanished in thin air
Where you ever there?
I guess I was in this alone,
Available for a couple of moans.
I say goodbye for now and erase you from my page
But I admit, I am still waiting in your cage.
How is it possible that I fell for you?
Someone who knows only his own view?
You brought the light and stole it again
You were the ink in my pen.
Did you ever appreciate who I became for you?
Or was I right and I am one of a few?
I let you see me in all my glory
And shared my life’s story.
I was too blind to see that you never cared about me
That I was just another fish in the sea.
I am done waiting for you to use me again
Forgotten. You. Me. Us. Goodbye.
Hush little sweetie…
Under these covers we hide;
Ready to experience our secret desires.
Raw and feral lust overtaking –
Inside of me everything is overheating, pulsing
Continuous moans whispered in heat
Ah… Don’t stop the waves from flooding my body.
Night and day and dark and light
Everlasting lust ties us together in this hurricane love.