This is for you to know

Sing a song for me. Write a song about me. Remember what we had and preserve it for eternity.
Hidden in your mind, I’ll stay. For no one to see. For no one to know.
Feel me in your soul. I’ll stay there. A memory. For no one to see. For us to know.
I wander through the night. Awake while the world is asleep. For no one to see. For you to know.
It’s all in the way you made me feel.

untitled

we were Howling at the moon
sleeping with the stArs
Rowing uP, rowing down
Possessed waters.
But you alwaYs kept me safe.

unBridled lust
Inner heat;
inexistent post-oRgasmic bliss;
we were not made to sTand the rain
i can live with or witHout you
but my Days are better if you are there.
we’ve mAde it through another year,
happY birthday, my sweet love.

But…

Damaged

But not broken

Bruised

But not bleeding

Happy

But not smiling

Sad

But not crying

Thinking

But not speaking

Scared

But not hiding

Love

But not them

Here

But not there

Silent

But not inside

Empty

But filled with emotions

Dreaming

But not sleeping

Apathetic

But full of passion

Lost

But not when you are there.

colours

Inside this grey and black vessel is a lot of colour

I tend to forget it’s there, but it is bursting out the cracks

I am a rainbow hidden in a cloud

Let me rain

Let me shine

Let me show you who I really am.

I cover your black with my colour

And paint your night away

Until I used it all and I am back to my usual grey.

Share your colour with me

Make it rain

Make me shine

And show them who I really am.

We will paint the grey away;

Coloured rain

Colours reign.

Failed beauty

I woke up surrounded by water

And I was drowning within

My soul was floating on sins;

My thoughts became darker.

I was not prepared for two years later

Pushing and pulling – twin-flame.

I wish there was a way to feel safer,

But there has to be a loser in every game.

This time it’s me; next time it’s you;

That’s the beauty and the failure of us two.

Soul-quake

There was an earthquake in my soul
I am stirred and shaken
Some parts of my walls crumbled
Some parts of my heart lie hidden underneath falling debris
There was a soulquake in my earth
My view is tearing up and blurry
Some parts of my world can never be rebuilt
Some parts of my inner self are left forever changed.

Am I right or am I left?

I am right when I turn left

I am left when I am right

I sleep in my dreams

And dream when I am asleep

I cry when I laugh

And laugh when I cry

I am invisible when I am here

And here when I’m invisible

I am here when I am there

And there when I am here

I make no sense when I write

And I write non-sense

I listen to your whisper

And whisper when I listen

I do all and am nothing

I do nothing and am all

Two sides to every story

Two stories for every side.

What I am for you

The flame that heats your frozen heart

The thought that brings you through the night

The stars that guide your way in the dark

The song that keeps your soul alight

The shoulder you lean on

The ear you whisper into

The love of your life

The one who fits profoundly

… That’s who I am to you.

(Or the one I want to be for you)

I will grow

My hands are tied
My mind is lost
As I run naked through the night
And surrender to the frost.

There is no place for you
No trust to give
It was never about us two
But, I will live.

Let me freeze for now,
My heart will thaw soon
I will go on somehow
And send our love to the moon.

For years you darkened my thoughts
Please allow me some happiness too.
Feel some pain over my loss
And remember how my life and love used to be just for you.

Words and pages written, all meant for you
But they stayed silent and unread,
We know it is true.
“Everything is okay,” you said.

As the frost on my face turns into tears,
I mourn what we never were
But I will not regret our years.
Even with you never really being there.

One last kiss to make me breathe again
One last kiss to say goodbye
One last kiss to keep me sane
One last kiss before I learn to fly.

Take away my fear

I wish you were here to take away my fear

Knowing that you are just around the corner

A touch and a swipe on the screen away

Today, I need you to be here in my ear

I need to hear your voice, your words

Just for me and for you; you and me and you

Your guidance would help me through this struggle

Giving away my thoughts and my control

I feel this mind is losing a battle again

But I don’t dare to get in touch with you

I can’t burden you with my egoism

But…

I wish you were here to take away this fear

Still in love with you

Sore
Thoughts.
Invisible
Lines.
Lovesick.

Inner light
Never bright.

Little known truths
Of love. Loss.
Vulnerable. Almost unbearable.
Empty heart. Heartbroken.

Words lick my skin
Inside. Craving the sin.
These truths became fantasies
Heaven weeps. Lost minds?

Yielding strength. We gave up.
Old wounds become new scars.
Untouchable thoughts. Forever hidden memories.

(Dedicated to my best friend who passed away two years ago. He shared the Thin Lizzy song “still in love with you” with me one night. (Sharing music was our thing.) I listened to that song earlier and that’s what inspired this poem.)

Hurt

One leap and
You’ll be free
But you fear the hurt

The hurt you’ll feel
The hurt I’ll feel.

If we changed directions now
Into the future, away from the past?

But I fear the hurt
The hurt I’ll feel
The hurt you’ll feel

You will not leap
I will not jump
Together, we fall

holes

‚ÄčThere are holes in the ground
Fill them with the debris of our love
Scattered fragments of our souls
Floating in a sea of tears.
This was not what we signed up for
Emotional baggage bringing us down.
Hauntingly whispered ditties ring in our ears
Out of tune,
Lost synchronicity
And what remains of who we were lies buried in the ground.

unlocked cage

I still taste you on my lips, you, the one who left me reeling
I cherish what you left and accept that you don’t share my feeling.
I push you out of my soul
If it just wouldn’t leave a gaping hole
But it is okay
What else am I supposed to say?!
You vanished in thin air
Where you ever there?
I guess I was in this alone,
Available for a couple of moans.
I say goodbye for now and erase you from my page
But I admit, I am still waiting in your cage.
How is it possible that I fell for you?
Someone who knows only his own view?
You brought the light and stole it again
You were the ink in my pen.
Did you ever appreciate who I became for you?
Or was I right and I am one of a few?
I let you see me in all my glory
And shared my life’s story.
I was too blind to see that you never cared about me
That I was just another fish in the sea.
I am done waiting for you to use me again
Forgotten. You. Me. Us. Goodbye.

Hurricane

Hush little sweetie…
Under these covers we hide;
Ready to experience our secret desires.
Raw and feral lust overtaking –
Inside of me everything is overheating, pulsing
Continuous moans whispered in heat
Ah… Don’t stop the waves from flooding my body.
Night and day and dark and light
Everlasting lust ties us together in this hurricane love.

the road

I’ve been on this road for many years
Trying to forget all those tears.
And in the deepest low
Behind the darkest glow,
Hope was always hiding
A light was always shining.

I’ve been on this road, walking endless miles
Ignoring the past’s echoes and its cries.
And as I stopped and sat down
It took me a moment to understand that there were new friends in town.
My restless travels and my frantic searching were in vain
This was where I wanted to be stayin’.

I’ve been down that road so many times
Creating stories and words in my minds.
And in the shining sun
When I felt like I needed to run,
I found solace in my broken thoughts,
Tying together their fraying knots.

But this is not the end of the road,
This traveler’s pace has just been slowed.
Soaking in the beautiful landscape
Even the one that was manmade.
Just resting my weary eyes
And listening to the path the soul takes when it flies…

Spirits in need near the edge of lust

Spirits in need
Under crumbling bridges.
Bring back whatever it is you stole;
My love, my lust, my gentle touch.
Iridescent stars light the way
Shining on – and guiding our lost minds.
Souls meeting in silent understanding,
Intuition tells us what we need to do.
Our selves lose importance
Near the edge of lust.

(could this poem be an acrostic?! Yes, maybe, certainly, it is!)

untitled (suggestions welcome)

Leaves dancing in the rain
Sun licking the morning dew;
Reflections in the window pane
Grey skies turning blue.

Behind a concealing mask
Feelings are an uncomfortable mess,
To understand is an unbearable task
And it’s easier to leave than to stay, I guess.

Toxic thoughts and actions;
Driving‚Äč so-called friends away
Understanding their reactions
But missing them forever and a day.

More light in the dark
More tears in an ocean
Another life’s mark
Overcome by emotion.

A head full of spinning thoughts
Cowering in the corner of my mind
To unfurl their knots.
Once again, I am left behind.

A soap bubble of for never
Floating up to the clouds
A memory to stay forever
Hidden from the crowds.

I am the shadow in my light
I am the hope in my despair
But after my lastest sleepless night
I can say that I am still there.

Please, don’t disappear

Pure lust
Left our hearts bleeding
Ends came too soon
And I keep wondering if I bruised your
Soul more than I will ever know.
Everything happened too fast.

Did we play a game and lost
Or did we fall and failed to be caught?
Not you me? Not me you?
Talk to me!

Dreams were shattered
Ice cold water drenched us from within
Seldom did I feel this protective and worried
And I want you to be here
Please, don’t disappear.
Pounding hope, inside
Eyes filled with fear.
And I wish I could 
Reach out to make you see they way I see.