Song 3

This song is called Still Lake. The artist is Dan Cavanagh, who used to be the mastermind of the British band Anathema. After an indefinite hiatus of said band, he launched a new project called Weather Systems and Dan shared a couple of Drafts or first takes of songs on Soundcloud. They are a bit rough and raw here or there, but the idea is there and I think those songs show off his talents quite well. Have a listen.

Song 2

Antimatter – the third arm

Antimatter is British musician Mick Moss. Amazingly talented, clever, funny, creative…

The above song can be found on Antimatter’s 7th studio album “Black Market Enlightenment” (2018)

And a little extra… His music and voice always get me in the feels. And he sounds awesome live. Unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure to see him on stage at a gig… I have to keep watching his DVDs.

Music Wednesday.

Brace yourselves. I’m going to share a couple of songs today.

This one is first. It’s postrock and despite its title, it is quite hopeful.

The best pessimist – I just want to be your everything

I love this song. 🥰 The Best Pessimist is Sergey Lunev from Ukraine. The project was launched in 2009, and there are many gems to be found on his Bandcamp page.

Listen to some of his songs, if you like this genre. 💜

I was told to be proud of my childhood and that it made me strong and resilient. I don’t consider myself to be strong, and I am not resilient. Most of all, there is no reason to be proud of my childhood.

I agree that my childhood is in large parts responsible for the damage caused to my soul.

But that pain, the neglect, the emotional blackmail and abuse should not have happened at all. I was an innocent child; I deserved to be loved. I deserved affection and a hug from my parents. I deserved praise when I did something particularly well. Instead, my needs (the basic needs of a child) were a nuisance.

And yes, that shaped me into the woman I am today.

I am not proud of my childhood. But I am proud of the woman I became.



Face it; this is who we are
Standing on the ledge
Threatening to fall
Into each other’s hearts.

One step and we will fly
Through the clouds
Spread wings
Catching us in the wind.

I will not leave you there
Hiding in the dark
Ashamed of who you are
I see you, honest and bare.

Don’t leave me here
I can’t do this on my own
All I want is to hold you
And to kiss away those tears.

A reason to believe in forever

I tried to feel the pain
Keeping me from being free
I cried in the rain
To clear my head and see
I felt the past again
And drowned into me.

But the emptiness
Is preceded by overflowing madness
And the pressure grows
Trembling body 
Filled by a mind that can’t sit still
And I can’t get away.

Sing me a song
With words that have never been told
Make me moan
With pleasure, make me feel like gold
Then leave me alone
You are not mine to hold.

One day you will be back
In my arms, where your are safe
We will float
Because these feelings
Cannot be erased
And the memories will never fade.

dream mind

My dream mind is rising from the ashes
Covered in lust and smoke
I never knew how love could feel.
Every corner of my heart is taken by you,
Filled holes and wounds
Forgot how to escape your safety.
And as a storm is kissing my thoughts
Naked and raw
A veil of tranquility floats down on me.
From the corner of my sleeping eyes
I see you in the dark
We are not allowed to feel this way
But we are a part of each other’s dust and
We came too far to let go.

Everything you are

You are my inner vision
My afterthought
My light
My barely-there emotion.

You are my sunlight
My moon
My waves
My rock at the river’s shore.

You are my monochrome thoughts
My forgotten hopes
My dying wish
My untouchable dream.

You are my everything.
I love you.

I walk with you, through the rain

Your eyes are touching mine and I feel our souls entwined. 

With you I can be mine and with you every wrong is right.

You in my life, holding me near – that’s why I am here.

My breath sings your words – until it stops to hurt.

Happy Friday

I started my new job yesterday. Maybe it shows because I am not online a lot right now. I have to say, I like my new job. It’s nice. Lots to learn and lots of knowledge to share. So far, I mostly worked with one colleague. She is nice too. A bit older and she teaches me a lot about this job.

I work in a centre for pregnant teens and underage mothers. There are 7 teens and 6 kids between 5 days and 3 years right now. It’s interesting to get to know these women and their stories.

Tonight, I had my first late shift. 1:30pm to 9:30pm. I actually left work at a couple minutes before 10. And now I am hungry and tired. But I wanted to leave a message, to let you know that I still adore you.

Views are exploding these days. Thank you for that.

Thank you



Dank je


I appreciate all of you. Be vocal with me. Leave comments. I will reply in my usual charming way.

Love love love

I love every version of you. The one pushing me away. The one begging me to stay. I love every inch of you. Your hair, your eyes, your belly. I love every thought in your mind. The sadness, the lightness, the eccentricities. I love everything about you. And some days, I believe you love the same things about me.

Whole again

I missed you since I was born. My stardust was not complete until your flame touched my soul. Long before we met, I fell in love with you. And now you are eternal, because you exist in every word I ever wrote. I missed you since I was born. Now I am whole again.