Catherine Micqu

Song of the Day (Monday)

Mia. – Kopfüber (headlong)

This song was released in September… To those who understand German, listen to the lyrics. Quite poetic – but that’s nothing unusual for this band.

I heard it for the first time a day ago and took an immediate liking to it.

I hope you do too.

Song of the day (Sunday)

Rea Garvey – can’t stand the silence

I had forgotten about this song until it came on the radio today.

Silence means rejection or abandonment. I cannot stand silence from friends.

Also, the silence around me means that my mind goes into overdrive and that in itself is dangerous.

Yesterday, I was at a birthday party — a 40th birthday.

The party was in Germany, and there were people from Germany, Luxembourg, France, Wales (Cardiff), and Canada (Ontario). Once again, I was in awe about how fast I can switch from one language to the other and still be fluent in all of them. Also, translating comes naturally to me.

Sunset in Germany (or standing in Germany looking at the sun setting over Luxembourg)

Being quadrilingual is common in Luxembourg. Many people even know five languages. (Like my dad, although he is not fluent, he understands it and speaks some.)

I am proud of this skill.

Lately, I was wondering and also trying to write in a different language, but the truth is, English is my preferred writing language. I even do my journaling in English. For me, it is easiest to put my emotions into words like that. Is that weird? Maybe it is.

Yesterday at that party, I was asked if I ever thought about seeing a professional. Not for the mental health issues, but this person had recently discovered that she is on the autistic spectrum, and she had been treated for mental health issues all her life, and no medicine ever helped or eased her troubles. It got me thinking. Maybe she is right.

There are plenty of signs that I am not the norm. It is scary, but also nothing extraordinary for me.

I had a couple of very social weeks. I need to retreat to refuel. Because, it is true, I am running on empty. I gave it my all. There is a void and an emptiness spreading inside me. Gaping wounds… I will bleed myself dry.

Song of the day (Saturday)

Daniel Cavanagh – Soho

It’s been a week since I posted a song everyday. This song right there is very special to me. It touches me deeply; because the artist touched me too.

I cannot be mad or sad or disappointed. It is what it is. They are who they are. I am who I am.

“They” always say: you are not alone. The truth is, we all are alone all the time and there is nothing we can do about it.

We struggle alone – as much as we wish someone would be at our side, we are on our own. Why? Because we are alone in out head and no one understands exactly how we feel.

I am an extremely empathetic person and I understand people and their behaviour and their reason. It makes me feel more alone. Because as much as I want to believe that someone might understand my oddities, most people just don’t. They don’t have the emotional capacity to understand.

Am I making sense? Maybe I don’t. I sound conceited, I guess.

It’s just, I seem to be understanding all the time. It is easy for me to forgive because I can understand why someone acted the way they did. It doesn’t make it any easier for me.

I take myself back all the time. I put other people’s happiness above mine. It is easier to accept to be hurt myself than to hurt others.

And I feel alone. Because I am too intense. Too overwhelming. Too much of everything and not enough.

xx

Song of the day (Friday)

Enno Bunger – Regen (rain)

German song. Makes me cry. Just the right song to hear and to experience after a night like the last.

Wenn man die Augen zu macht
Klingt der Regen wie Applaus

(If you close your eyes, rain sounds like applause.)

This week has been hell.

Song of the Day (Thursday)

Sunrise Avenue – Forever Yours (acoustic version)

This is the album version

And the nightliner mix

Three completely different versions of this song. One for every mood, I guess; because, I kind of like them all three. But best is seeing this band live. Sunrise Avenue are a Finnish Rockband and their front man, Samu Haber, is very charismatic. When I saw a picture of him for the first time, I couldn’t believe that he could have such an extraordinary voice.

Well… I like the lyrics of this song

Especially this part (which is actually the beginning)

There are times I can leave my heart wide open
There are days I believe I can heal wounds on me
There are times I could come to you and hurt you
I could easily bring you tears
I could send you to hell, I know you
I will find something more
Someone I am made for

(…)

Thoughts?

Thank you for going through the ups and downs with me.

Cathy

new look

I decided that it is time for a little change on the blog, and so, it received a new look. It feels very me, somehow. Is that weird? Everything is still there, but of course, we have to get used to it.

What do you say? For me, the font seems small on the desktop version, but it is okay on mobile. Which version do you use more often? For me it is indeed the mobile version and the app. My laptop is old and slow and it weighs a lot when I want to write with it on my knees, lol.

Do I have your attention? There are a handful of people who take a look at this blog regularly. I wonder:

  • do you want more poetry?
  • more short stories?
  • more about me and my struggles?
  • more music with more in depth explanations why this or that song is worthy of your time?

I am thinking about making a poll, but I am afraid that no one will vote… so… please take the time to comment about what you want. Yes, this is my blog, but it is yours too. You are taking time to read… If you don’t want as much music as I shared this week, tell me. If you want less of my whining or struggles, say so.

As always, thank you for your support and your love. Remember too that there are other ways to get in touch. My social media links are visible in the sidebar (in desktop version) or by scrolling down all the way on your mobile app.

Lots of love,

Cathy

 

PS: remember a couple of months ago, I was considering deleting everything or letting the blog fade out. I figured out quite quickly that I can’t let that happen. Yes, I am rambling a lot these days and I am thinking about how that makes me look – probably not the best look for a young woman like me, but it is a big part of me and although I am not expecting any comments or feedback on the more private posts, it is important for me to send these thoughts away. I am still writing my journal, but that seems to be different. It is different, because it is less impulsive in a way. I hope it makes sense.

such a long PS… Thanks again for your eyes ❤

Song of the day (Wednesday)

Selena Gomez – Good For You

Today, my song is in a genre that is not really on top of my list. But I heard that song and I liked the message. It is not about being good for someone else, but being good about themselves.

Easy to preach, hard to live.

💜

Take care,

Cathy

PS: is it okay to share music or does it annoy you?