behind the curtain

My curtains are drawn, and I peer out to see
The happy people, they are not like me.
I must remain hidden and out of view
Where I thrive on small things like the sky that’s blue.
I want what they have; it doesn’t seem too much
I crave it, but I am scared of the human touch.
Whoever I am is fading away, night after day
The voice is silent; no one says, “please, stay.”
I can’t get rid of the stains of sadness on my skin
My soul is rotten, and I am trapped within.
Let me out of this living hell. Let me out!
But my walls are too high; no one hears me when I shout.
In plain sight, I am drowning in a river of emotions
Letting go of the curtain, the river becomes an ocean.
These feelings are a layer of dust in my brain,
Making me believe that my existence is in vain.
But it is not; I may be far away, but I am still here.
See me! Like me! Love me! Don’t be afraid to come near.
Behind drawn curtains, I am beginning to see,
Smiles hide existential battles; happy people are the same as me.

News – coming soon

This is happening… I am working hard to get this book published in the next 4 to 6 weeks. Everything is ready so far, apart from the manuscript itself.

It is a novel that is undergoing a complete rewrite.

About the story:

It is a same-sex romance.

Emerson Heart is a musician with a lot of ego, but he is also prone to anxiety attacks. His career is dwindling and after one too many tantrums, his contracts are terminated. Lost in thoughts and lost in life, he meets Riley Stone.

Riley Stone is an enigmatic man. He has things to hide, and yet he is confident and strong. He is a wealthy and successful business man who takes care of Emerson by flying him to his private island.

One of them will melt a Stone. One of them will melt a heart.

For now, I am planning on publishing it as paperback only. 220 pages for 12 euros (13,40 USD), shipping and handling included.

If you are interested in preordering, get in touch. Every book that is ordered from me directly comes with a personalised handwritten note.

Lots of love to all of you,

Have a great weekend.

My poetry

You are my poetry,

A melody in my veins.

You are the breath in my lungs,

The words on my tongue.

You are the thoughts late at night,

A safe shore and a warm hand.

You are the smile

And the occasional tear.

You are the warrior in me,

A reason to face every battle.

Your home is in my heart,

And tomorrow, everything will be forgotten.

But in the lonely hours when sleep is elusive

I turn to you, my poetry.

Rebirth – repost

soiled earth
burned ground.
I need a rebirth
being found.

But no,
I am not lost.
just a no-show,
a bad host.

I’m wide awake
not under water.
nothing left at stake
not a victim of the slaughter.

I hold my fate in my hands
writer of my own story
creator of my future plans
I will shine in all my glory.

I chose to hide
or to emerge
being drowned in the tide,
this time I chose to purge.

bridges didn’t cave in
but we need to let it rest.
we should raise our chin
be proud that we passed the test.

there will be no last caress
and I wouldn’t want it any other way
it’s the safest way out of this mess
and we will live, even through the sway.

blossoming spring
revival everywhere
it makes me rise and sing
lets me forget my latest despair.

dance with me on the ledge
be free
I’ll save you from the edge
you’ll see.

rejoice with me
celebrate the times we survived
let the past be,
because we are the ones who thrive.

Ouch

This is a comment I found in my spam folder… I didn’t click the name that provides a link to a blog/website/whatever – I am not sure if this real or indeed spam. However, it stings, and I hope that all of you who are regularly here don’t feel as disappointed as this lady apparently does.

Yes, I am crying, but I am not sure if I can fix it. And in my own mind, I am not searching for attention. But who am I to judge.

Be kind, have a great week.

Tonight’s movie: ex machina

2014, written and directed by Andrew Garland.

Usually, I am not a SciFi fan, but this was well done. The actors were believable, notably Domhnall Gleeson and Oscar Isaacs.

Basically, the movie is about a computer programmer who has been chosen by his eccentric boss to study the human capacities of an AI robot…

No spoilers, but this didn’t quite turn out the way I expected it.

Good night and have a great new week.

Cathy

Happy Mother’s Day

All around the world is Mother’s Day today, but not in Luxembourg. We celebrate in June.

Every day should be Mother’s Day though. A mom is mostly a hero too. 💜

I did not have a role model in this area, but I am trying to be the best mom I can be to my kids. And I think, so far, I am succeeding. I have three awesome kids at home.